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should i be concerned that amazon is trying to sell me what appears to be first aid for gunshot victims?

since someone really fucked up doing their job with my benefits, it obviously falls on me to file the paperwork to fix said fuck up. and now it's been two weeks without any response from my provider's office as to what the hell is going on.

my favourite part of watching documentaries is the end when you are shown the corporate legal statements to evade

fuck, the challenge mode for stage NL-EX-8 is tough. i think if the deploy limit was increased by 1 then it'd be a breeze, but that takes the fun out of it a bit. was finally able to clear it on a run that i wasn't expecting a clear from.

as i continue to read "i'm more dangerous than you" i am starting to believe that quite a lot of the readers expected miss ren to have some sort of gap moe, and instead are disappointed that she does exactly what her established character would do.

hmmm, i'm not sure i'm really ready to start doing mentally intensive work like complex coding yet, but the marked improvement to my health over the last few days has me feeling positive that i should be able to work towards that if i can kick this lazy streak i've built up.

that moon knight episode, i uhm, what? like, what the actual fuck was that?

honestly my biggest fear in this is that my illness isn't actually relapse-remitting, but continuous and every interval i think it lets up i've just gotted use to the previous state of symptoms to not notice them.

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hmmm, if the trade off here is that i get to feel fine but have to suffer more severe nerve pain, then i am okay with that. i can live with and adapt to mentally blocking out this pain, but cannot do the same for how poorly it makes me feel.

day two of not feeling completely oppressive and even while the weather is shit too. look like i may have been spot on with my original estimate for how long it'd take me to start getting better again.

fuck. ended up taking extra pain meds as i feel like i'm getting stabbed in my legs over and over again this evening.

ugh, so today has stayed fairly good and i'm hopeful that this trend continues but my nerves are on fire today and i hate it.

these days i feel like i'm watching a house burn down from the inside - of a fire that very few seem to register the existance of. at least, not until the metaphorical floor gives way below them and they are plunged into the literal inferno.

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after 2016, i considered leaving the states but that got derailed by a new and very serious illness i developed. if i'm honest, what i currently fear for most is not direct (or indirect) action against my personhood/rights, but the fact that the society is too weak to fight back.

that has been the most devistating aspect this time around, that i've been unable to hold onto my thoughts to assemble any complex or long-term thinking. if this is going to continue then i need to adapt to this or i just wont be able to function for 3-6 months at a time.

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hmm, well i think i might be getting towards the tail end of this particular episode of my recurring illness. it still feels like i'm standing in the mental rubble of a catastrophe - and i have no idea how long it will take to properly collect my thoughts again (if i can at all)

despite having wanted to read this for the month i've had it, it has been proving difficult. illness seems to be stealing chunks of time by having them bleed away from me - it isn't large consecutive blocks of time but space inbetween things and it really cuts into my management

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well shit, i forgot that the fourth volume of the executioner and her way of life war coming out so soon (tomorrow) - i guess this means i can read the third and fourth volumes back to back.

so i open crunchyroll to look at new series as i haven't in a while and i spot a golf anime. upon seeing the hero image of the series, my first thought was "the hell kind of country club has that permissive of a dress code??" i cannot believe those rules still irk me today.

i'm glad i've got tomorrow off, my joints are really stiff and i'd like to sleep more than i have this weekend.

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