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hm, i had a very strange dream this morning - was standing in our old family house and noticed a rather large catapiller on the inside of one of the windows. from there i watched it attempt to cocoon itself a few times, it would start, then undo it, move a little then start again

this is partly due to needing to stop taking everything so seriously and enjoy life as much as possible. i'm in my current situation because i put way too much strain on myself to do more work than was necessary, so taking it easy is my new methodology.

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finding that the vast majority of what i read these days to be pure fluff. there is a sprinkling of very very dark psychological stuff too; but it is overwhelmingly fluff.

there is one particular type of pain i have that none of the pain meds can do anything about. i should probably be a lot more concerned about it than i am, but it feels futile and i kinda just want to exist without fighting for it sometimes.

spent the evening weeding out my wardrobe, which is something that is extremely long overdue.

reading late has such a
terrible cost on my joints. :(

i want to keep wearing masks but the impact it has on breathing and keeps heating up my face has me not able to tolerate it for longer periods of time.

unexpected trip downtown to the bookstore to secure a copy of a novel that amazon is undecided on if it will ship me despite having preordered it.

i've inhereted my mother's sense of cleanliness, and that makes life somewhat difficult as i'm not a compulsive cleaner but it will mean i just stop being in those areas of clutter as much as possible. which, isn't a winning strategy for making them any less cluttered.

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recently exposed to the idea that people with adhd can just… not see things? like if things just sit there for a while, one tunes them out and i'm aghast at this? i dunno what i've though about this behavior but as someone that notices everything all the time it's hard to grasp.

getting antsy as i wait for a newly released book to ship as my order isn't updating to include shipping and tracking info.

"highrise invasion" is yuri, you cannot convince me otherwise.

i took a nap this afternoon, and i'm really feeling the fatigue hit me. i was really hoping to do a lot of reading this week but so far that hasn't happened yet.

today involved a lot of walking and standing longer than i have in well over a year at this point, so i'm tired but it's a good feeling? i also discovered that my existing strap for my cane is not viable, so i'm thinking of improvising a new one that will work for sure.

spent the afternoon out shopping with my sister, which was fun and was something i've needed to do for a while now.

anyway, i say this not
because i really think it's any of my or our business to speculate on; but i hope the current situation for those impacted by that policy improves in a favorable and empowering way.

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i've been through that systems more times than i can recall at this point, and the thing that strikes me most is how disempowered the hiring managers all were when speaking with me. not being able to hire the people your team would most benefit from must be crushing.

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continuing to see all these articles about apple's hiring policy and practice makes me sad. a nontrivial amount of talent has been lost due to this but the execs don't care as long as they can squeeze their workers just right anyway. i feel bad for those trapped in this system.

that giddy and powerful feeling while doing it for the first time successfully.

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