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i still find that, given the choice, i don’t want to sleep. i do recognize that it is necessary, but it still is a hassle - especially when it doesn’t work well. being able to sleep without any aid now is still a net win to me, but i wish there was more to gain from it.

i feel like garbage this morning, like my brain hasn’t activated yet, or like i’m underwater so everything is sluggish.
going to have some caffinated tea and see if that helps things.

i don’t think most people would be able to live with the same degree of certainty and absolute sense of being that i wield every day.

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my unwillingness to compromise on myself is my most defining features or traits. it’s unfortunate that our reality has no natural way to express the quantity or strength of one’s will power, as i would come across less as a quiet and reserved person and
more as one to be feared.

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i don’t know what to say here other than i’vd been
getting better and also have felt exhausted on many days as well. i’m glad that i’ve been able to recover some semblance of normalcy, but needing to take things at a slower pace is unacceptable to me in how i live my life.

someone has been hammering for the last two hours and now i have a migraine and want to kill people.

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