i know i keep saying this every few weeks, but i am still looking for full time employment doing devops/ios dev/sre. please, i am really desperate for work.
i don’t like ending this tweet on that note because it comes off as though i’m trying to say something negative about it - which i’m really not trying to do. it’s just this nameless hopelessly stupid main character is so vivid and tangible that it might as
well be reality to me.
i think that this makes me a problematic person, but i’m not bothered by the method as long as it works.
i feel like this is something you have to fundamentally understand about me as a person: i will not do anything that i cannot enjoy, thus even the most mundane decisions must carry enough entertainment factor to go through with them - to the point i will ignore aspects of reality
i hope that one day i am able to complete said dream, but until then i will have to enjoy the substitute of escapism through the words of others instead.
hibiki’s stark and unyielding worldview seems to be fairly close to my own, as is her love of literature. i’ve tried to be an author in the past and my dream got crushed under the weight of reality. part of me still wishes to write but it’s quite difficult for me to do now.
as with works that i find moving, i also have some strong feelings of disgust attached to it. particularly the childhood friend character ryoutarou. his smothering treatment of hibiki is not something i can tolerate, which i imagine will come to a head at some point.
it’s frustrating how little value each word has individually, but having more makes what is being said more vague.
the wordy-ness aspect is something that i fight with; because i know that as the word count of what i’m trying to express increases, so do the chances that the other party will not understand me correctly.
i think the vast majority of my choice of words and use of language comes down to the fact that: while i am very well-read and have an extensive vocabulary, use of more illustrative words in english doesn’t improve the effectiveness or accuracy of communication.
hi, i'm demi. i have an undiagnosed illness (causing peripheral neuropathy), and suffer from severe chronic pain.
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