Show more

i know i keep saying this every few weeks, but i am still looking for full time employment doing devops/ios dev/sre. please, i am really desperate for work.

email: hello@pewpewthespells.com
resume: pewpewthespells.com/cv.pdf

starting to consider how viable it is to do something like 36/12 hour awake/asleep schedule.

i also equally hate the feeling of weakness that spreads throughout my body after i yawn when the meds have worn off. knowing that it is taking every ounce, every fiber of my being to not collapse on the ground in agony. knowing the only thing holding myself together is willpower

i hate this fucking feeling, it’s the one you get when hypothermia starts to set in. right before going numb, there is this tingling sensation. like fingers of ice dancing over your skin. it gives you chills. the one i get to relive constantly as my nerves continue to degrade.

i don’t like ending this tweet on that note because it comes off as though i’m trying to say something negative about it - which i’m really not trying to do. it’s just this nameless hopelessly stupid main character is so vivid and tangible that it might as
well be reality to me.

Show thread

i’m rereading β€œgunjou” as i forgot some of the plot at the point i was at, and i’m glad i’m more emotionally stable now than i was when i last read it; as i’m able to savour the visceral nature of the writing so much more. it’s repulsive in the way something raw and unfiltered is

is there any way to hide this stupid floating button in the
official twitter app? i really hate how in-the-way it is.

i think that this makes me a problematic person, but i’m not bothered by the method as long as it works.

Show thread

i feel like this is something you have to fundamentally understand about me as a person: i will not do anything that i cannot enjoy, thus even the most mundane decisions must carry enough entertainment factor to go through with them - to the point i will ignore aspects of reality

Show thread

thinking about how i willfully challenge and ignore the tenets of our reality based on the belief i can make my own options rather than accept the least bad option available.

i hope that one day i am able to complete said dream, but until then i will have to enjoy the substitute of escapism through the words of others instead.

Show thread

hibiki’s stark and unyielding worldview seems to be fairly close to my own, as is her love of literature. i’ve tried to be an author in the past and my dream got crushed under the weight of reality. part of me still wishes to write but it’s quite difficult for me to do now.

Show thread

as with works that i find moving, i also have some strong feelings of disgust attached to it. particularly the childhood friend character ryoutarou. his smothering treatment of hibiki is not something i can tolerate, which i imagine will come to a head at some point.

Show thread

by chance i started to read β€œhibiki - shousetsuka ni naru houhou” and it is really good. it’s a work that i don’t think i would have picked up or even known about normally, so i am going to treasure it more-so as i read because of that.

it’s frustrating how little value each word has individually, but having more makes what is being said more vague.

Show thread

the wordy-ness aspect is something that i fight with; because i know that as the word count of what i’m trying to express increases, so do the chances that the other party will not understand me correctly.

Show thread

i think the vast majority of my choice of words and use of language comes down to the fact that: while i am very well-read and have an extensive vocabulary, use of more illustrative words in english doesn’t improve the effectiveness or accuracy of communication.

Show thread

something i struggle with is finding ways to express myself in regards to (a niche subject matter) without having to use (what i consider: a crude amount of language). i don’t think english, as a language, excels at expressing concepts in the concise way i desire.

it’s time for my favorite tv game-show, β€œRomanize That Western Fantasy Name!”

me: i’m not able to fall asleep when i want
also me: my gut tells me that this isn’t insomnia, but rather something else

Show more
witches.social

The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!