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it looks like my mtg modern horizon booster boxes are arriving today!! i am so excited about this!!

i pre-ordered two boxes with the hopes of securing a copy of the new serra planeswalker card!! maybe that was a bit excessive but the whole set is fantastic and interesting and i’m so pumped to get a whole new set full of older mechanics again. since i love and chase the uniqueness of mtg card mechanics this is a like a dream!!

watched netflix’s “love, death, and robots”. that was a really interesting series of shorts; but i found “good hunting” to be a bit too perverse (cruel/wrong) for my tastes. although,,, i would be down for more of the three robots in the first skit.

today i’m continuing to lay in bed and watch jessica jones season 3. i haven’t been able to eat anything today and i still feel awful.

i’m starting to wonder how many of the things, like being unable to eat, are just my body trying to express its wish to die. i cannot make it 3 hours without being on my meds — as i become a fall risk from exhaustion alone. without the pain meds, it feels like i’ve got railroad spikes driven into all my joints. now i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

i’m really looking forward to my 2x modern horizon booster boxes that are arriving on tuesday!! it’s the most exciting thing this month for me.

i’m not even 3 full hours into my day and i’m falling asleep on my feet because i haven’t done meds yet.

ugh, i’m sore and exhausted and i just woke up too. i’m sad it’s too much to ask to have a remotely mild day for once.

looks like my entire afternoon is gone -- made no progress on figuring out if it is possible to over-ride NMAKE's pre-defined list of inference rules, as they don't do what _I_ want, and figured that redefining them would work but i'm nowhere with this.

maybe after living here for two years i’ll actually get around to hanging up all of my wall-things

source 1:

source 2:

source 3: ?? it is almost 25 years old; so i’m not sure if available anymore.

source 4: colonialism and theft

cw: resignation & death (-) 

i’m rapidly running out of time. i don’t know what to do, i don’t want this to be the end of me — but i don’t have any options. i don’t have the power to change things on my own. all i can do at the moment is continue to write, to try to affix meaning and understanding to these experiences so, maybe, they get heard.

i will never get over how fantastic the japanese word for “fluffy” is;

“ふわ ふわ”
“fuwa fuwa”

it’s precisely the best combination of onomatopoeia and warm mouth-feels as you say it. ☺️

i’m (re)watching “toji no miko” with intent to finish this time instead of stopping part-way through. i have a few more “mahou shoujo” series in my crunchyroll queue, but want to take a bit longer of a break between starting them after watching “magical girl raising project” — as that really killed my mood.

“magical girl raising project” gets twisted fast, and doesn’t stop. i really wasn’t expecting that. i am quite upset the older lesbian couple had to be killed off, that was so sad.

i guess this goes to show, if a magical/alien being asks you to sign a contract always always always say “no”.

i looked at a side project i thought i built rather recently and the last commit was two years ago; and it makes me realize i really have lost 2 years off my life to illness.

random thing, I decided to upload an old iOS device supervision exploit I helped develop ~5 years ago that allows of a supervision profile to get installed onto a device without user knowledge or being visible at all to the user (by having 30 seconds of physical access to run this code). this is long-since patched so I don't think there is any harm in open-sourcing it now:

@taiki i'm sorry this took so long, here is the exploit code we talked about back in SF: all the code there should work assuming the device OS is old enough that this isn't patched on, but not sure if it works out of the box as I haven't compiled my old framework code on windows to check it.

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