cw: us pol (~)
i ended up watching most of warren’s town hall (from last night) and it makes me super disappointed in both her as a candidate and the grounds of the DNC as a whole. seems like her and biden have the best chance out of the whole candidate set; but they are nothing but moderate candidates trying to avoid being too liberal. a lot of her responses to medical/healthcare topics seem uneducated at best; and her response to opioid-related questions was harmful.
Toot! v1.8.2 is now also out.
This one continues polishing the iPad interface, fixing a few issues:
* Using Toot! in split screen mode should work now.
* The sidebar is a little bit narrower on smaller iPads.
* Boosting from a different account shows the right icon now.
* As a bonus, double tap to zoom finally works!
i honestly wish that for once someone would just accept that and say “that’s okay”, and how a hint of compassion for the fact that none of this is my fault. i know that’s far and away too much to even hope for but it’s what i would like to hear, unprompted, just for my own validation. just once, i don’t think that’s too much for me to ask at this point — but it sure feels that way.
despite appearances to the contrary; i am quite concerned about my own livelihood. my frustrations stem from: expectations placed upon me to facilitate my own care, my lack of options, and being blamed for not participating in my own care.
i have been, and continue to be, so severely traumatized by my illness and the forced self-advocacy required to receive even the mere prospect of having access to medical-care. i cannot interact with it anymore, it’s not something i have in me.
cw: self-reflection (-/~)
with my timeline being what it currently is: i definitely would have lived my life (even just the last few years) differently, knowing what i know now. i wish i could make amends to those i’ve hurt, and re-connect with those i wont be able to say “goodbye” to. i really appreciate my friends, and the joy they have brought me. i don’t like that i’ve been nothing but a source of negativity and despair lately; because i’m embarrassed as to how badly i’ve been hurting.
cw: suicide (-)
i really want to just scream and cry right now. to wail at the top of my lungs, because the system is failing me and there is nothing anyone can do stave off the situation where i run out of time and my only practical option is death. this is so fucking awful and makes me wonder why am i still getting up each day
that’s pretty much why i’ve stopped doing anything at all. hardly anything is engaging anymore and i still cannot focus on anything for long enough for it to matter. each day fees like another step closer to running out of time. to double down on the feeling garbage; i seem to have lost any good-will/favors i had with some of my doctors so everything has come to a grinding halt.
i can take this(https://nimble.directory/pkg/imap) package and modify it slightly to fetch notes contents from my imap server and this(https://nim-lang.github.io/Nim/asyncftpclient.html) stdlib module to interface with the ftp interface of fastmail’s webdav functionality (where my org-files are stored).
everything being easy to code and access is so wonderful!!
my girlfriend is jealous of my twitter-free lifestyle https://twitter.com/asmallteapot/status/1134284621586227200?s=12