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hacking on something too intensely and missed connecting my tablet to AC power by like 5 seconds :(

ugh; tomorrow i have to do life things. iโ€™m very bad at life things these days. on top of that, itโ€™s becoming harder and harder to tell which memories i have are real or not. i feel like itโ€™s only going to be a very short time before i lose everything because i cannot manage to be a person anymore.

@Minalien so iโ€™ve started the โ€œso iโ€™m a spiderโ€ light novels and this has taken on a whole new level of depth that i was never expecting. iโ€™m halfway through book 3 now and this is really exciting!! iโ€™m glad i got the manga on whim and also told you, so you could point me at these books!!

having a quiet day with some books, lamb rogan josh for lunch; and some cold clementines for later.

the degree to which i need to be present and able to act on my surroundings is ever-increasing (even without working a day-job) and iโ€™m really unsure how to keep myself from becoming more passively suicidal because of it. to be completely honest, if given the choice of never interacting with societal demands again, i would take it in a heartbeat with no regrets.

i realized the other day i got to see โ€œIcon for Hireโ€ live this month last year just down the block from where i live. that was such a fun and good show and iโ€™m super glad i got to do that!!

i feel like iโ€™m being hit by one impossible decision after another with no end in sight. at this point i want to just give up and let someone else make the decisions for me. this timetable i have to pull off the impossible is probably going to end up killing me and thatโ€™s it i guess?? this sucks.

what the heck; it feels like a month has passed since i went back on leave but itโ€™s only been a week. how can my days feel so short but also time seems to crawl by.

also all the things i configure and work as expected when invoking โ€˜emacsโ€™ donโ€™t work/behave the same when starting an โ€˜emacsclientโ€™ process and that is really frustrating

anyway; yesterday i admitted defeat to spacemacs as the easiest way to configure emacs to make it work for me. ยฏ\_(ใƒ„)_/ยฏ the load-time is kinda awful but it seems extremely annoying to get emacs to run as a system service and behave in server mode as expected.

itโ€™s so weird that someone iโ€™ve repeatedly not go along with on twitter decided to follow-req me here. maybe it was the domain name or something but making friends outside my current set is not gonna happen now because of how little energy and person i have to share with others.

iโ€™ve been watching bakemonogatari and i love the aesthetics of the intro sequences so much. the elegance of the japanese typeface used, as well as the animation style; it is just phenomenal.

so, we just got a nextdoor invite and iโ€™m wondering if it is really going to be worth it just to see which neighbors are the scumbags-we-should-avoid, more-so than we already do.

so today i wanted to do things but my body hurt too much to do anything and this is really upsetting the longer it goes on.

Check out my broadcast from my PlayStation 4! (Tom Clancy's The Divisionยฎ 2) live at

driver decided to call out โ€œsam?โ€ when i opened the car door so that was a slap-on-the-wrist โ€œSamantha.โ€; but he did contribute that my cane looks nice. so there is that ๐Ÿ˜Œ

trying a new extremely causal look because i have a bad headache and cannot be arsed to wear a bra or corset tonight.

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This is a privately run instance owned by Samantha Demi.