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While y'all were studying the blade, I learned to blow stuff up with magic.

Chelsea Manning does not deserve to be thrown in jail (again), and if we lived in a just world she'd be considered a national hero. I'm furious and you should be too
tomorrow i’m facing a sealed contempt hearing for refusing to testify at a secret grand jury over my 2010 disclosures


me after listening to a radio host bitch about lent yesterday in a lyft: can i give up life for the next 40 days??

so the current strategy is to keep eating cookies until my brain stops imminently wanting sleep then work out what to do.

day after emg: my limbs feel totally fine; i’m exhausted but otherwise okay. my exhaustion levels are such that i feel like i could fall asleep at any moment.

so apparently i have peripheral neuropathy without any problems with my peripheral nerves??

i don’t know how this happens but according to the MD that did the test that is the case Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―

gods i just waking up for today and my brain wants to go back to sleep and i am completely drained. i just, i don’t know how long i can keep this up.

something my therapist pointed out today was how forward i am about my suicidal-ness and got me to finally put it into the right words: it’s about power; not only does the existence of intent carry power by using plain words to express the stakes, but also that i have granted them the opportunity to be kind β€” they can do what they want with that but ultimately cannot change the circumstances of this situation. the response i’m given tells me everything i need to know about a person.

Always write a post-mortem if you are done dealing with an outage or an incident in your organisation.

It will help foster a discussion on how to move forward and can establish roles responsibilities in terms of implementing improvements.

this morning i was brought to tears when being abruptly reminded that my chronic tachycardia is silently there and if i’m not careful about my level of exertion that it could kill me.

fuck, i am a mess. i’m really not sure i can do this β€œlife” thing while continuing to have no buffer between experiences and overwhelming emotion.

the effort raw emotion is worse than the pain, as it hasn’t been dulled by time. it is like having to go through everything again from the beginning, and i don’t know if i’m strong enough for that.

so i just coded from when i finished work (6pm) until now, 11pm. i feel didn’t get very far (about 200-250 lines of some simple object types and iteration+filtering logic), but it raises my current confidence level a little bit. i definitely kept getting stumped with some of the compiler errors i ran into, but hopefully with time i can get better with that.

mmm that full-body infatuation feeling you get because you are gay; yes, that.

it seems terrible that apple abandoned the plugin-based app architecture pattern before iOS came around and thus there are no good answers to DI and factory-patterns that aren't going to leave you with a file full of initializers :(

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This is a privately run instance owned by Samantha Demi.