cw: trauma (~)
to be perfectly honest, i’ve spent the whole day hiding in bed because i can hardly calm down. and this has done nothing to help me recover before i need to return to work tomorrow...
i really hate how uncomfortable of a situation i keep finding myself in. it’s so hard and it feels like i have so few people i can rely on these days.
cw: trauma (~)
lately i feel like i’ve been nothing but a roil of insecurities. about myself, about the relationships i have with others, and of the future and things yet to unfold. i feel this preying on my mind as i’m still in the unknown. i don’t know if i can truly handle working a job, navigating my illness, or sometimes if i’ll even make it to the next morning. everything is so raw, and i know that i need to summon inner strength to get through this but have no idea the depths of that well.
i don’t have to worry about anything until thursday. my back hurts and i’m cold and i have a raid tonight and a facetime date with ellen and i’m really really tired. i feel like i’m just barely getting by, and things are good and bad all at once. and, like always, i have too many things i’m worried about and not enough energy or focus to address them.
reinstalling some tools and was reminded of the fact that the `remarshal` python egg is one of the greatest unsung things ever: https://github.com/dbohdan/remarshal
mild spoilers: after hours vol 3
after taking some time to think about it; i really didn’t like the plot of vol 3 of after hours. i think that’s because i had felt the characters had outgrown the behavior they exhibited as it was written. it felt super cliche and silly when it could have been so wholesome and good. :/
i also wonder if i’m upset about it because i was hoping for a different story because of my own situation and wanting to have hope.