i’ve been reading a lot of fan translated comics from asia and i cannot help but find all the het romances just so incredibly cringe-y. i am at a bit of a loss for words about how romance seems foundationally built on silver linings rather than desired qualities.

i think it frustrates me the most because there is a lack of evidence in showing my pain could be treated this way, so it only presents as a waste of time. though is it worth the effort to get a bit more fit to not have to spend a year doing PT for literally no objective reason.

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at the same time, if it was possible for me to do such activities - i wouldn’t also be a severe chronic pain patient. this stupid damned if you do, damned if you don’t approach is really getting under my skin as i cannot medically justify β€œits boring and isnt of sufficient value”

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i am currently in the process of being coerced into doing physical therapy. i specifically say coerced because it is being forced on me as a result of not being very athletically inclined; and the idea is that it will help strengthen my body to lower the risk of pain via atrophy.

i think that the ending resolution might have lacked sufficient thought on plausible execution. though the author was probably going for something with a tinge of remorse.

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β€œoccultic;nine” was a lot more fun than i was expecting, but i think boasts the most dialogue of any anime series i’ve watched so far. it felt much longer because of that, which wasn’t a bad thing but i could see it being a major turn-off.

okay, despite the poor signage, they really nailed
the portrayal of the davis square t stop.

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this was actually pretty funny to me as they had really nailed the road scenery you see upon exiting logan airport up to this shot with the signs.

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the typical road signage you see when you arrive in boston, america; after coming from overseas.

i picked up reading β€œkusuriya no hitorigoto” recently and it’s been quite fun. i really dig historical fiction as a genre.

twitter seems to be nothing but fireworks but i was thinking of how few fireworks i’ve heard this evening compared to previous years. this isn’t counting the nightly fireworks that we have been hearing for months now either.

i am seriously annoyed with the frequency at which i need to re-login to the crunchyroll app. i don’t even think it is necessary, but the way the app is structured is such that if the one login request fails you get stuck in a bad state and are forced to re-input the credentials.

seeing a portrayal of twitter from 2014 in an anime really threw me for a little while there but they really nailed the scope of hate speech and trolling.

i’ve also found myself writing things down physically more often too. i’m not sure how to describe the writing style. it isn’t written for me, but a hypothetical person that may wish to understand my perspective. i’ve begun to see importance in having language for this expression

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i think the best skill i’ve acquired recently is that i no longer feel compelled to check or read twitter. i feel bad that i’ve lost my social connection with it, but it no longer bothers me that i’m missing something as a result.

i’m starting to become worried that i’m developing vision problems. lately i’ve had issues with reading digital displays for periods of time. the last thing i need right now is for my health to start failing in a major way again.

i am finding it hard to believe how many places i apply to only to be told that i don’t meet their criteria for the position.

in hindsight, i now understand myself much better than i did before, but also know it sets me further apart from everyone else because of this fundamental difference in how i experience the world.

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in particular, the fact that one’s mentality cannot protect oneself from becoming suicidal. instead, it takes immense mental strength and willpower to get past this way of thinking, which i don’t think many people understand.

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