@ticky *nods enthusiastically*
it was a phenomenal browser, first one to fully support css 3 (iirc)
@ticky arguably the best browser of its time.
there is a lot of things about being as ill as i am, that i haven’t fully considered yet. i’m over two years into this now, and still only barely coming to terms with it.
a thought struck me today — that i may not be able to have dreams and aspirations to reach for, anymore. i find myself both tremendously sad about this, while also being confused and lost as how to connect this with my own understanding of my identity.
@danielle so soft.
@danielle they are really,,, soft.
it’s kinda great not having to worry about being a visible self-harm risk. not taking my meds makes me feel worse pain than i could ever cause by slicing into my own body.
instead, i get to carry this knowledge with me all the time. instead, i feel so bad i cannot even eat. instead, i lie here day and night - forced to endure this torture. instead, i’m supposed to put on a smile and carry on without a hint of anything being wrong.
i cannot keep doing this.
@ticky i think he nearly died by choking on a pretzel or something once while in office — if that helps ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
it looks like my mtg modern horizon booster boxes are arriving today!! i am so excited about this!!
i pre-ordered two boxes with the hopes of securing a copy of the new serra planeswalker card!! maybe that was a bit excessive but the whole set is fantastic and interesting and i’m so pumped to get a whole new set full of older mechanics again. since i love and chase the uniqueness of mtg card mechanics this is a like a dream!!
today i’m continuing to lay in bed and watch jessica jones season 3. i haven’t been able to eat anything today and i still feel awful.
i’m starting to wonder how many of the things, like being unable to eat, are just my body trying to express its wish to die. i cannot make it 3 hours without being on my meds — as i become a fall risk from exhaustion alone. without the pain meds, it feels like i’ve got railroad spikes driven into all my joints. now i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.