so, at the moment, i cannot help but want to make what i desire as concrete as possible. i realize that isn’t going to be fair to everyone, but right now that’s all i can do to string each day onto the next. at some point, i hope i can arrive at a place where i can readjust my grip on reality to better match the needs and desires of everyone. however, until that happens, there isn’t enough of me left to give to everyone — and that is it’s own change and trial for me to overcome.
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