i had an unusual and extensive dream last night about merfolk. i’m quite glad i actually do have the right language to describe them, as a hybrid between something like zendikari merfolk and the merrows of lorwyn. they were grotesque but so inhuman that you wouldn’t say so or compare them to people. there were a lot of twists and turns; some quite dark and disturbing but it was a fascinating experience for me.

the worst pain comes from my elbows after being bent in order to read a book. it feels like punishment for doing something i enjoy, a lot.

got started reading β€œdemon princess magical chaos” this morning and wow this is gonna be fun!!

today seems good; i woke up at 7am and didn’t immediately feel that i needed to go back to sleep!!

doordash praxis Show more

this is one of my base desires right now. i am not allowed to let this happened because if i were to reveal the truth of the matter, nobody would appreciate it. they would look at me and see how utterly worthless i am and run away. i don’t say this with the intent of dragging myself down but to express how unwilling people are to commit to people that don’t meet their normalcy standard.

now i’m going to start β€œdidn’t i say to make my abilities average in the next lifeβ€œ (light novel) vol 4. i might get to some personal coding or destiny later. i’m trying to keep my wednesdays as low key as possible. i need the recovery time and i just barely get enough between wednesday and the weekend when i don’t have any appointments scheduled.

i finished β€œmy solo exchange diary vol 2” last night and that was a good story imo. i know the first volume wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but between the two there was a story of enormous personal growth. i found that really good to read about, even if it is someone i don’t know and have no investment in, it was just moving to see the changes someone can take to better their own life. it has given me some hope wrt my future and trying to make my own life changes.

just started and finished β€œbeauty and the beast girl”. that was such a lovely and endearing yuri story. from start to finish it was upbeat in a wonderful way that you don’t always get from yuri stories. i really hope this gets more volumes!!

Apparently someone at Bloomberg somehow convinced the company to let them make a freeware trashgame about dead malls????? bloomberg.com/features/america

gods; the soles of my feet are so cold and my joints hurt a lot today. this is some fuckin misery alright

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