ugh, i'm one Ko rune short for crafting a Harmony bow, which will put be through the rest of nightmare. the loot tables tell me i'll get one Io for every 21 NM countess runs, which is like 70-some runs total to get materials to cube a single Ko rune. gotta love the grind.

i guess at this point i'll have to farm countess for runes and get lucky with socketed drops, or build up other characters and hope i can make progress.

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fucking hell, another roadblock on durial at nightmare. at level 50 and definitely need a weapon upgrade but that's going to be awful to farm.

who would have guessed i'd (still) be looking up diablo 2 loot tables 20 years into the future

it's really bothersome how i cannot express my own feelings about receiving well-wishes or hopeful comments regarding my health. it's can be deeply unpleasant in ways that defy my current language skills. it brings unnecessary focus to the gulf between where i am and "normal".

this week has been terrible, unable to seriously focus, like my brain has been
missing. i'm unhappy with this prospect as a long term symptom.

currently using an edge runeword bow, but think i should try to switch to a harmony or melody soon to upgrade the damage output. i've also been maintaining 50-60% MF so far which has paid off in spades.

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i've got an average chance to hit my enemies of about 50-60% and this seems wildly off to me, but because i'm using immolation and freezing arrow skills this negates most issues with hitting enemies. i'm also finding gear which only increases AR or doesn't have it on it.

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so after having to level grind from 22 to 24 to beat durial in act 2, i've been able to breeze through acts 3-5 on normal and now through act 1 on nightmare without stopping and am at level 41 with some attack rating problems with my bowazon.

i'm never going to not get in fights with people about xcode because they don't know how to use the basics of an IDE and the lack of knowledge and understanding is always going to be upsetting.

i want to murder the assholes operating yard equipment next door at 7am.

started to read "hiru" by imai daisuke, it's a pretty interesting plot so far.

with my current illness flare-up, i seem to have lost my appetite (again). i'm starting to suspect that the two are related, but i cannot work out why that is. this kinda sucks too as my weight has finally stablized recently and i don't want it to drastically change again.

having a morning where i feel like i'm under extra gravity.

i watched squid game and not sure i get the difference here to any other death-game media i've seen before.

i'm not even sure what constitutes as "normal" or "baseline" me anymore and i should be a lot more bothered by that than i currently am.

chapter 240 of otome no teikoku was cute. honoka deserved that.

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