yesterday i caught up on the "battle in 5 seconds…" manga, and now i'm hoping the anime series ends on a particular (cliffhanger) scene. i'd like to see them run it (at least) another 12 episodes but i'm not sure that'll happen.

i slept until noon today, it was great although my legs are sore.

which really pisses me off, because they aren't actually sore, but the nerves are thinking they are so the result is not too different but lacks the physical limitations of real strain.

i am, beyond, exhausted today. unfortunately there seems to be very little that i can do about this, so i hope i can recover somewhat before monday.

it's really fucked that i cannot allow myself to be anything less than 110% at all times. i know this very behavior is what is ruining me, but i cannot give it up as it would mean losing to myself.

i feel a bit foolish for the amount of rolls i just used to acquire blaze out of the banner that started today, but it also netted me mudrock so i'm viewing this as a win.

though, the amount of resources to upgrade them both in the near future to E2 is so high!

well shit. one volume of a series i like is out of print in english and seems like the automated pricing bots have driven the cost up to 300-600 dollars for a γ€œ200 page paperback. this is totally unreasonable but i'm thinking about just doing it.

the most distasteful thing i can think of is being manipulated into performing some action desired by someone else, so watching someone relinquish their agency for that reason is beyond gross.

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hmmm i finished episode 7 of "joran the princess of snow and blood", and am not sure i want to continue as that was the most tasteless bit of plot development that i've seen in a while. part of it is definitely personal, as i actively resist being forced down paths by others.

i hadn't read nio nakatani's "farewell my alter" before and wow, that was... sad? intense? chilling?

the idea of loss of identity on such a profound level is…

i hadn't read nio nakanami's "farewell my alter" before and wow, that was... sad? intense? chilling?

the idea of loss of identity on such a profound level is…

hahahaha, i feel so fucking
terrible, it's almost funny. what the heck.

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i really want to fall asleep for at least 12 hours and feel good about it afterward

having a terrible night, where i should have taken some additional pain meds earlier but didn't and now it hurts too much to sleep.

as someone that grew up in a slightly different cultural environment to mainstream america, it's honestly embarrassing to be surrounded by people so selfish all the time. that isn't to say i'm any better, but being made aware of it is what is frightening.

i'm mad that it's already sunday night. i've done a tremendous amount of work over the last few months, and yet, it is not anywhere near enough to satisfy my personal goals and ambitions. part of that is from not working towards the right goals, so i need to better define them.

the sad-laugh every time i see someone meme shirou emiya - i hate that loser so much.

everything about season 2 of "my next life as a villianess: all routes lead to doom" is why i hate the harem genre. there are reasons why some of these characters are gross outside of that, too, but yikes. i am appreciating the comments dubbing the protag as "bakarina" though

huh, so i went to rest this morning and suddenly it's already 5pm. apparently i was doing much worse than i thought earlier.

yesterday i was reminded of the fact i've spent my life thus far in the sole pursuit of becoming unreasonably good at one specific field despite having other talents, and that i've not applied them elsewhere to grow as a more rounded person.

ever come across a thing that is just so rough that it makes you take a step back in regret? yeah, that.

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