𓂧 𓅓 𓇌 @demi@witches.social

after spending all day reading right to left, and now i’m reading something left to right and it’s gone and broke my brain

tfw you are really behind on your rss feeds

I AM SUPER MAD ABOUT CITRUS VOLUME 9 AND I DONT KNOW IF ANYONE IS GONNA GET MAD ABOUT IT WITH ME 😱☹️😭😤😡🤬

so i was trying to rearrange some of the smu— ahem, books, ... on my shelf and i took down “super late bloomer” and paged through it and came across this page; for which, this is still one of most worthwhile things *i* have done.

aaaaaaaaaa the kindle book art for “demon princess magical chaos” is sooooooooo good i am really upset i cannot get a physical copy with such art T-T

i am so tired now; i just want to pass out — but i have a feeling that isn’t gonna happen soon enough.

📚 books 📚 books 📚 books 📚

every single time i run into a tool written in Go-Lang, i want to scream at the awfulness that is static linking the fucking universe into your application.

i’m waiting to see this new OTO/ENT doctor and there is this older guy being an absolute ass about “well i haven’t been seen yet” i hate these kinds of people so much; and in-fact, the nurse here relays that there was an emergency this morning which required the MDs in this department so everyone is behind. 🙄🙄🙄

what i’ve come to find so far is that despite what the normies tell me; there aren’t a whole lot of “actionable” items that would require todo lists as they would have lead me to believe. which is why i’m trying to “document” rather than “do”. there are a couple of “do” things, but not as many as there are details. i don’t really know what else to do at this point?

right now i’m using org-mode in emacs with a couple of extensions. i’ve been able to put together an incomplete, 30kb, plaintext document of my current medical conditions. i’m gonna try to do the same for other parts of my life too. maybe this isn’t the best way but it’s what i’m doing now as my entire slate has been wiped clean on what does and doesn’t work for me. it is pretty discouraging, and i’m not sure it’s ultimately worth it in the end.

i guess for the next few months i’m gonna be taking a journey where i have to relearn everything that it means to be a functional person; because i’m not right now. i’ve spent a lifetime having people throw “todo lists” at me; so what i’m trying to do instead is attempt to document my life instead.

uuuugh; i’ve got two appointments today in the morning and i don’t like doing this because of how exhausted i get but it is necessary :(

i sincerely hope y’all never experience what it is like to feel paralyzed. to try to will part of your body to move and it just... not do anything. this has been happening more and more frequently and it has me scared.

i wasn’t able to, but i still feel considerably better than i have been the past while. it’s, a wonderful feeling i have today, like i’m at peace. i’m worried about what is to come but for now; i am at peace with where, and who i am in this moment.

i needed to spend the entire weekend in bed asleep to feel even remotely tolerable now. i’m hoping i can get some more rest this morning before i have to actually wake up for the day.