𓂧 𓅓 𓇌 @demi@witches.social

i am mildly starting to want to make my own *amazing* software project again, and the inherent problem here is that i never really finished any of the past projects i have started and know it will burn me out fairly quickly again if i try to do this.

the right combination of recruitment tags appeared in arknights this morning and i was able to snag hoshiguma! i've been using saria, nearl, and liskarm as my main defenders, but glad i finally rolled one with better attack and def skills. definitely will use saria and hoshi now.

sometimes i wonder if it would be worth writing about my experiences - personally, professionally, medically, etc - to say what i’ve learned from it. what i fear is it becoming yet another task of thankless work. i’ve come to realize that i cannot do that to myself anymore.

so is it some hidden secret in arknights that platinum actually sucks as a ST sniper compared to meteor or vermeil? or does she just match really poorly with blue poison? feels like a lot of the time drones are almost getting away before being killed as a result :/

the comedy in this show is so good, especially for a show that doesn't try to be funny. rodney is such a great/real supporting character.

the scene in giri/haji of taki “translating” for kenzo at the british police is an absolute riot.

gods, i am so tired today. i’m really hoping its for a reason other than going out and having appointments yesterday. not that would make things better, but at least i wouldn’t feel as pathetic about my own health.

i started watching giri/haji on netflix and so far i’ve been enjoying it.

this tweet feels lacking and i want to elaborate why i like it but i don’t know how to explain the parts of how it was shot that fascinate me.

i am kinda miffed thanks to one person and their completely unnecessary questioning tone of voice, - the one that only trans people ever get to experience - be it intentional or otherwise, ya’ll cis people need to cut that shit out.

i’m not so naive to think i can find a job that is enriching and makes me feel good about myself and whatever, but i shouldn’t have to feel so absolutely compromised about the vast majority of this industry. it is really depressing.

…the fault as they are the only “face“. how do you as an engineer build or contribute to a platform that purposefully turns humans into machines and not feel terrible about it? you have to never see them as people in the first place.

… i am running a little late. they seemed to take it as a personal attack and i’m not sure how to articulate that my problem is with the lack of transparency from lyft as a platform, not with them. however that doesn’t matter because they are comodified to take the brunt of…

i wish someone had told me how morally compromised i’d eventually feel about working in tech.

my lyft rider has been super apologetic since the moment i got into the car. i just tried to ask to see the plotted destination and route because they made a strange turn and…

why does this matter? well, let me tell you, there is a world of difference between a single moderate source of acute pain and several severe sources of acute pain - aside from that i still haven’t found the right language to describe how i feel other than “fucking dreadful” so

which, honestly sounds incredibly silly but i’ve never been stabbed (plural) before, as in, i’ve been stabbed (singular) but not in a repeated manner (plural) so i don’t know if i am using “stabbing pain” correctly, as stabbing has an implied plurality.

i really hate english.

so i’m going to have to try to journal some more about what my pain feels like between waking up tomorrow and a quarter to 2. all this because i’m hung up on the implied meaning of “stabbing” being coupled with a foreign object penetrating the body in an unnatural fashion.

in retrospect, i shouldn’t have scheduled an appointment that was two week after my previous one, but the staff are terrible at their jobs and i was very fed up with having to stand and wait at a desk for a painful amount of time.

not particularly looking forward to going into a hospital tomorrow and dealing with the screening system. i don’t feel like i’m getting enough sleep lately, but i’m not explicitly tired, just don’t feel rested.

ended up pulling W from today’s free pull of the limited banner in arknights, so that was a pretty good way to start the day.

turning off my morning
lights automations in the vain hope that i will be able to sleep longer that way.